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Ferengi Rules Of Aquisition

   1. Once you have their money...you never give it back.
   2. You can't cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try.
   3. Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
   4. A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.
   5. If you can't break a contract, bend it.
   6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
   7. Keep your ears open.
   8. Small print leads to large risk.
   9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
  10. Greed is eternal.
  11. Latinum isn't the only thing that shines.
  12. Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
  13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
  14. Anything stolen is pure profit.
  15. Acting stupid is often smart.
  16. A deal is a deal...until a better one comes along.
  17. A bargain usually isn't.
  18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
  19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
  20. When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat.
  21. Never place friendship above profit.
  22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
  24. Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.
  25. There's always a way out.
  26. As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.
  27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
  28. Morality is always defined by those in power.
  29. When someone says "It's not the money," they're lying.
  30. Talk is cheap; synthehol costs money.
  31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother...insult something he cares about instead.
  32. Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects.
  33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
  34. War is good for business.
  35. Peace is good for business.
  36. Too many Ferengi can't laugh at themselves anymore.
  39. Friendship is temporary; profit is forever.
  40. She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
  41. Profit is its own reward.
  42. What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too.
  43. Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon.
  44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.
  45. Ambition knows no family.
  46. Make your shop easy to find.
  47. Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
  48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
  49. Everything is worth something to somebody.
  50. Gratitude can bring on generosity.
  52. Never ask when you can take.
  57. Good customers are as rare as latinum--treasure them.
  58. There is no substitute for success.
  59. Free advice is seldom cheap.
  60. Keep your lies consistent.
  61. Never buy what can be stolen.
  62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
  65. Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.
  68. Ear stroking will get you anything.
  69. Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
  70. Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the merchandise.
  71. There's a customer born every minute.
  72. Never trust your customers.
  73. If it gets you profit, sell your own mother.
  75. Home is where the heart is...but the stars are made of latinum.
  76. Every once in a while declare peace--it confuses the hell out of your enemies.
  77. It's better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit.
  79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
  82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
  84. A friend is not a friend if he asks for a discount.
  85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
  87. A friend in need means three times the profit.
  89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but ask what you can do for your profits. 
  94. Females and finances don't mix. 
  95. Expand or die.
  96. For every Rule, there is an equal and opposite Rule. (except when there's not)
  97. Enough ... is never enough. 
  98. Act without delay! The sharp knife cuts quickly. 
  99. Trust is the biggest liability of all. 
100. If they take your first offer, you either asked too little or offered too much.
101. The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it. 
102. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever. 
103. Sleep can interfere with opportunity. 
104. Faith moves mountains ... of inventory. 
105. Don't trust anyone who trusts you.
106. There is no honor in poverty. 
107. A warranty is valid only if they can find you.
109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. 
111. Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them. 
112. Never have sex with the boss' sister. 
113. Always have sex with the boss. 
116. There's always a catch. 
119. Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet. 
121. Everything is for sale, even friendship. 
123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum. 
125. Count it. 
127. Stay neutral in conflict so that you can sell supplies to both sides.
135. Never trust a beneficiary. 
139. Wives serve. brothers inherit. 
141. Only fools pay retail. 
144. There's nothing wrong with charity ... as long as it winds up in your pocket. 
146. Necessity is the mother of invention. Profit is it's father. 
152. A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn't know.
153. Sell the sizzle, not the steak. 
162. Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit. 
169. Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive. 
172. If you can sell it, don't hesitate to steal it. 
177. Know your enemies ... but do business with them always. 
181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. 
188. A fool and his money is the best customer.
189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money. 
190. Hear all, trust nothing.
191. A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
192. Never cheat a Klingon ... unless you're sure you can get away with it. 
194. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door. 
200. If you're going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable. 
202. The justification of profit is profit. 
203. New customers are like razor-backed Greeworms--They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back! 
211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them. 
212. Never give away for free what can be sold. 
214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach. 
216. Never gamble with an empath. 
217. You can't free a fish from water. 
218. Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much. 
219. Always know what you're buying.
223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox. 
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust. 
231. There's a sucker born every minute; be sure you're the first to find each one.
236. You can't buy fate. 
239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product. 
241. Never trust a hardworking employee.
242. More is good ... all is better. 
255. A wife is a luxury ... a smart accountant a necessity. 
260. Life's not fair. How else would you turn a profit?
261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience. 
262. A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
265. The customer is always right ...until you get their cash. 
266. When in doubt, lie. 
270. In business deals, a disruptor can be almost as important as a calculator.
284. Deep down everyone's a Ferengi. 
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.